When a restless mind comes, I don’t want just to stay still. I want to dance with the rain, I want to walk within the wind. When a restless mind comes, I just can’t let myself being alone.
I do love everything just being simple, perhaps since I am a complicated person. If I put something more complicated into my life, it would ruin everything. So a minimal exposure of complicated matters would be my policy, whether inside or outside.
Back when I was about 8 – 10 years old, I used to think that the word “home” and “house” were having the same meaning in English, “a place where you live“, or at least, they have the same translation when come into my native language. But then I found, they were not used in the same manner. Commonly when we said “house“, it implied that we need something physically build to refer it.
Even my head starts to ache since this morning and the morning before, deep inside – somehow – I feel strangely lighter than before. I don’t know, whether this is the feeling we get when we manage – again, somehow – to let go the past; or it just a temporary stillness before the incoming of a great storm.
Perhaps you ever heard someone were asking to meet a professional that can help him for some personal problems, like stress maybe. “I need to find my physiatrist, I can find the way out of my burden right now.” Yes, something like that perhaps a close example, or maybe a simple ask for a friend’s advice.
Well, if I say I need for help, maybe since I can’t not handle the problem myself. Or, I – perhaps – able to handle the problem myself, but I just can’t see the way to make it done nicely. In another words, my mind are cloudy, my judge on the matter would be wavering.
There is an old wisdom quote which said no matter how hard people was trying to bring about peace upon this world, there would be no peace they shall find, if there is no peace within oneself.
We have hardly believe or simple put it in our faith, if humanity can bring together into a mutual understanding, there will be peace upon this world. But, our world already in state of chaos, as how we see it in our daily life, on the news, on the conflicts those occur everyday.
Lately, I’ve realised that my focus decreased significantly. Like when I turned left when wished to go to right side. Hmm…, I think I should consider some new solution for this issue.
Otherwise, the deliberation would make me feel like Vincent Law on the “Ergo Proxy”. Well, dealing with the unknown was never easy, wasn’t it?
I think its about…, life fully.
I was sitting with my green gecko, so many things is filling my thought. I don’t know, something like move my consciousness back to the past. Like a simple question – where was I a year ago?
I think a year ago was a hard time, a very hard one indeed. Well, thinking of it. I guess, I am already reaching my dawn.
Pursuit of happiness, that what most people seek in their life. I think – for myself – this idea of being happy, has already long time gone without a single trace. I do not disagree about seeking a happy life, well, happiness is the very root of a life fully above this earth. I love seeing people live a happy life, the scene was amazingly joyful.
I’ve walk the path of darkness, and pursuing happiness neither in any part of it. I do not feel that this life must be conditions by the act – the path – of pursuing something that might crashed and blinded in its’ path.
When you feel unhappy, when you feel sorrow is unavoidable, you might just run away to thou who give you a feel of security & comfort. Or you may stand and challenge the life face by face. But its never fill the gaps between you and the unhappiness, except a thin film of security, happiness or the proud of being able to conquer this life.
Life is me, the unhappiness is me, the happiness is me – they are merely the other expressions of me. Running from myself won’t make me go any further, fighting myself won’t let me solve the matter. But I know, accepting myself would be a chance to understand myself fully.
Which implies, understanding the happiness & unhappiness. Pursuing happiness only makes me end by separating it – by separating myself. How could I am separating myself? Or could you?
To life fully, understanding is the beginning of everything. And within it, I’ve exclude the idea of being happy. When happiness comes, let it enter my deepest chamber of gratitude, when sadness returns, welcome it by warm and gentle smile.
Have you ever felt to be stand in a distance to something you dearest most? And the space then expanded until what you still able to see – only – the grasp memory of the one.
We might be never can do something with space and time continuum, as how law of physic do its duty on this material world. But, the question then – can we, obviously, do anything about this feeling of separation?
If we let this feeling of separation exist, than we might only create the opposite of our heart content. We – then – become a separatist. Well, its connotation bad enough to be heard. But we do not really need bring about this separatism in our life.
Separatism only creates conflict, then conflict becomes hatred, as we already now hatred only presents sorrow and pain for humanity. Because of our longing to the closest rainbow at the farthest sky, we has bring about abundant of misfortune to our life, and others’ life, to the world.
Yes my friend, there is nothing wrong with longing of something. It is the part of our heart’s nature to attract of something. But if the closest rainbow were far enough, that doesn’t mean if we can create a rainbow right here right now, which would fulfilling the world of humanity with pure happiness and kindness.