I just do not know, why people can kill other so easily because they are being different, like being different in belief or religion. Why we could took human’s life so easily & merciless? What are we trying to achieve, a perfectly unicolor world? Then just ask God to my all planet become Earth.
Rising under the first morning mist, I am a small bud of freedom. Come upon the labyrinth of winds, meet between hopes and life, I am a small bud of freedom. The morning dew which releasing all chain of past, I am a small bud of freedom.
The very breath itself is freedom, the flowing life is freedom, the silent cloud above the stillness is freedom – then the sky reach its’ end. Then again, I am a small bud of freedom.
Yesterday I was visiting a tomb of the past. I was looking back, what I have been leaving behind, inside the stream of my very own breath. There were a lot of things those holding me back there, one of them I know it as fear. Fear made me denied myself from entering a path of unknown – path of non-sureness.
Even I knew that subtle formless thing was fear itself, but deep within me, there was never brought up an understanding about this circumstance. It was so dark, a pitch black mist which no such a weak mind like mine would be able to grasp something. The more I went deeper, the more I lost myself, the more I confused about direction.
But I was very full of myself, I asked no guidance nor opinion of others, I kept everything by myself – and believed if someday I can overcome everything by myself. Yes, everything was just about me – I was very full of myself. But I wouldn’t dare to say if today I am free of this kind ego.
Then, the more deeper I was looking for the root of my problem, my fear – I’ve found nothing, nothing at all, nothing but a dark and unknown surrounding. I was desperate, I was cried a lot, all by myself. Today I think, there is a part of me (or maybe all part of me) so fragile.
Yesterday, I was looking back on all that. What was I searching for? Was I wanting become a fearless entity? Was I wanting to understand the root of my fear? Or was just I want to know, what was happening to me?
I think, I have been wasting to much time, searching for the ‘me’ which never wanted to fully open itself for itself. Wasting to much time in looking for ‘me’ which is the creator of its own fear. If I am the fear itself, the I have no much choice but to live with it. Not opposing fear – I hope – would give me a chance somewhere in which a windows of understanding shall opened by itself.
It is a tomb of past, but still it is the present and the very future itself. Yet, I don’t understand that much, but there is something within me is saying, it feels that much.
Lately, rain has stop falling down, it has been about three or four days after the last full moon. When I walked around four in the morning, after rain fallen the night before, I can see a beautiful moon on the dark clear sky. Its beauty was like a charm that chanting good luck and fortune.
But this morning so much clouds in the sky, the bright shining moon is fading away. Well, I guess I can’t have fortune last forever. At least, I love this life as how it should be.
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful sunflower grew alone in top of the mountain. She did her daily routines by watching sun from rise until he set. Until one night, an ant told her that a shadow always was watching her when she is enjoying her day.
But since she has been always looking at the sun, the brighter one, she never realized that a shadow – a darkness – existed behind her.
I kind of feeling sorry lately for my own handwriting, well its still readable of course – but only on normal speed writing. If I get a note which need more speed to finish it as quick as possible, it becomes a bad tasted hieroglyph. Since I used to type on keyboard these days, my handwriting skill becomes dull from time to time.
Perhaps this is a good moment to take a reflection for this issue, otherwise it would be helpless in near future.
I remember clearly every time my heart whispers me, about the life under the vast sky. Even my logic can always tells me that nothing stays eternal, but seeing life flows in its natural way would be amazing every day journey. Yes, I would like to restart my pilgrims here.
Tough I am not quite sure where to begin with, but at least I would let the wind guides the long path of my life. A deep breath for a deep maze, then lets shake hand – my life.